How to Know if You Are Receiving the Love You Deserve

Being in love can impair your judgment. When in a serious relationship, so much time, energy and love has been expended, it can be very difficult to be inwardly honest and face the reality of if the relationship is actually healthy and will withstand the test of time. Although ending the relationship is a daunting and unpleasant thought, in the end, it will save many months (if not years) wasted on the wrong person. If you are unsure about the love you are receiving and pondering if you are in real, true love, there are basic key qualities your significant other should be bring to the relationship to help create a loving, safe and satisfactory environment. No one can tell you what to do… but here are some important guidelines you might want to follow if you ever find yourself thinking, “Is this the one?”

1.Does he/she seem genuinely concerned if you have been injured or in shock regarding an upsetting event? Would they leave work if you needed their help?

2.Do they smile at you at least once a day, only because they love you? Do you naturally smile back?

3.Do you go to sleep at night feeling satisfied that you are lucky to have them in your life? You do not lay awake at night wondering how the two of you are going to get past your differences. You truly feel lucky in love?

4. Do they remember your birthday? Anniversary? Extra points for remembering your mother’s birthday! Do they remember without any hints from you and they loves you enough to get you a gift and a loving card, not just generic chocolate and a 99 cent card?

5..Do you genuinely feel happy when they walk through the front door? Seeing them brightens your day, no matter how stressful it was?

6..If someone asked you, “Who really loves you?” , would you give their name? You unequivocally know they love you with all their heart?

7..Do you feel that if you needed help or advice with a problem (work, personal or other) that they would “back you up” and that you would not need to face it alone? Would they back you up even if you were “technically” wrong?

8. Do you look forward to weekends, knowing that you will be able to spend more time with your lover? Do you love to just cuddle in bed? Go for walks? Enjoy quiet moments or crazy ones together?

9.Is the sex satisfying and feel that you would not ever need to look outside the relationship for a physical relationship? No matter how much you love them, are they truly satisfying you in bed? There is no need for major sex fantasies, because they supply most of them for you?

10. Do you genuinely, truly TRUST them? When they tell you something, do you believe them without question? You never wonder if they are sneaking around and you would bet you own life that they are honest with you?

11. If you were in an accident of some kind and had time to call one person (other than emergency services) would it be them that you call? Would they come to you no matter what their situation and they are the one that you would want there to comfort you?

12. If you were not feeling well and needed them to help run an errand for you, would they do it without complaining? Do you feel safe that if you were in bed because of an illness or accident, they would help take care of things? Go food shopping, clean the house, etc.?

13. Do you feel completely free to be yourself in this relationship? Can you relax around them and not care if you’re a bit messy? Do they feel the same way about you?

14. Do they give you compliments; do they help you feel good about yourself? You know you can count on them to notice new clothes, haircuts ,etc? And also that if there is a big issue, he will help give you advice and constructive criticism if you request it?

15. Can you honestly say that they would never embarrass you at a public function..ie: put you down, talk rudely to you? Do they respect you?

16. Are you completely comfortable (knowing that you are proud of them) with having them meet your boss? friends? family? co-worker? Do you love them despite any faults they may have, and you have no problem showing them off to anyone?

17. Do they know the little details about your life… your birth town…your favorite color…your favorite season? Can you talk to them about silly little things, such as ” Do you believe in Big Foot, aliens, etc.” ? The conversations are not just “How was your day” ?

18. Do you have the same major goals in life…where you would like to live…would you like to buy a home…do you both want a long term relationship or is marriage your goal……love and want children? Where you would like to retire? What you think is an appropriate amount of money to help save up for retirement?

19. Can you look at them and feel at peace with the thought that you will grow old together? Can you imagine sitting on those rocking chairs, gray hair and all and still being in love?

20. Answer this carefully; do you think you are in love with them, not simply “loving” them?

Alisa Chagnon is webmaster to http://www.lovebulletin.com.

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