Dating Advice: 15 Tips for Your Online Date Hook-up.
You‘ve exchanged kisses and witty messages over the computer. Now you are going to catch up. How to ensure this turns into a second date. What to do when the perfect sounding 35 year old broker turns into a 20 year old scuzzy drug dealer. These pointers have been compiled for the single woman to help her get through that sometimes tricky first encounter.
1: Be positive and upbeat without climbing the walls. Smile!
2: Try to arrange to meet for a coffee. This can run from 15 minutes to 2 hours. If he is a total dud it is totally appropriate to wrap it up fast. If you have plenty to chat about one coffee can easily become two.
3: Leave the nightclub outfit and makeup for the nightclub. Go for smart casual or after work look. A lot of guys are put off by too much drastic makeup, so try for discreet and healthy looking. Play up your best attributes subtly. Great legs? Skinny leg trousers or shortish skirt will show him this without you having to resort to a micro-mini skirt. Your cleavage your best asset? Wrap tops are great for these lucky girls because they show your curves without wearing a shirt that starts opening halfway to your navel , you want him to come back for more, not feel like he’s seen the whole deal on the first date.
4: Be punctual. Arriving late comes over as rude and uncaring of someone else’s time. Do you like to be kept waiting?
5: Be prepared to listen as well as talk to the other person. How many times do you and your girlfriends say about a guy “he is just so into himself, his career that he wasn’t even interested in anything about me”? A safe ratio is about 50/50 even though that sounds terribly obvious it can be tricky with nerves etc to get the balance right between verbal diarrhoea and clamming up entirely.
6: No Dutch courage. Arrive sober. Stay sober. Alcohol will lower your inhibitions and may give him the indication that you are a lush or easy.
7: First impressions count. Smile, be friendly and listen. Don’t sell yourself short by presenting yourself as cheap or tacky. You are trying to find a long term partner who will treat you with respect, not view you as a quick sexual conquest.
8: No sexual relations! Even if he is your ideal pin up boy and you’ve been in a sexual hiatus for seemingly years. Having sex on a first date has just made this first encounter a one night stand. You need to engage the guy’s interest, like and respect. Most guys are already engaged in lust mode. Remember the oft quoted guy interpretation of “would you like to meet for a coffee?’ really means “eventually I’d like to have sex with you”. Make him wait.
9: Leave your cell phone off. If you can’t give the guy 15 minutes of your attention without the rest of your world stopping you will never find a partner.
10: No discussing previous relationships. Plenty of time down the track for that. By this stage you should have brief explanations that cover the basic areas of your life. You don’t want to sound all bitter and twisted. He too has some sort of history or else he wouldn’t be available to be having coffee with you.
11: Never give out your home address.
12: Trust your instincts. If the guy gives over vibes of being a psychopath or potential stalker deploy your emergency exit plan immediately.
13: What goes around comes around. Treat the guy the way you like to be treated yourself. Everyone is so tied up in themselves now and has become so me, me, me.
14: Safety first. You can never be too careful. Tell someone where you are going and with whom (can be tricky with internet dating). Choose a busy, well lit place that’s easy to enter and leave. You don’t want to be worrying about scurrying down some dark alley, being followed to the subway or harassed hailing a cab after a less than successful encounter. Maybe plan to meet a friend afterwards. Do not have your friend sit there and spy on you from another table as this is too distracting and sometimes obvious, not too mention a bit school girlish. If you become fearful try a ruse like going up to the counter to order another coffee, mention to staff you don’t feel safe and can they keep an eye out on you. Go to the ladies and call your emergency exit. Get out as politely and quickly as you can. Make sure he is not following you
15: Try not to get too anxious about these first encounters. Practice does make perfect. If this date wasn’t your dream man, then at worst, you have just honed your social skills for when your Mister Right does make an appearance. He will.
Good Luck!
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